Lando Lands in the Valley of the Sun

It’s pretty fly that Alando Tucker went to the Suns, one of my most favorite teams. Not only is Tucker a University of Wisconsin alum, it turns out he grew up in Joliet, IL, the very same town where my dad was born. I hitchhiked out of Joliet with my girlfriend in 2002 and my experience there definitely supports Lando’s description of his childhood. Joliet is not the kind of place you want find yourself stuck in after dark. I remember walking past entire blocks of abandoned houses. Luckily, we eventually got picked up by this big black guy with big, black scars all over his arm and he drove us out along the highway to a better spot. He was really friendly, and it was one of those rides I was especially grateful for.

Joliet Prison, that once housed the infamous "Joliet" Jake.

Michael "Dogface" Finley Only Thing I Like About Spurs

He played his college ball at the University of Wisconsin, he's got a sweet outside touch, and he's got a face only a mother and lovers of lovably ugly faces could love. He's one of those no fess, no mess players that you're proud to have on your team because he gets the shiz done without coming off as a gigantic salad eater.

I used to kind of like Tony Parker, and he definitely deserved his spot on this year's All-Star team, but I'm over it until maybe he gets traded or something. The Spurs, his gay Frenchness, Eva "Dogface" Longoria, and some questionable plays this series have shaken my approval of him.

It takes a special player to rise above the disgusting cesspool that is the Spurs organization, and as of now, only ol' "Dirty Dog" Finley makes the grade.